


The Jotun's Smile

by bluetoast



Series: The Jotun and the Widower [6]
Category: Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Grief, Loki Needs a Hug, Other, Starting Over
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-01
Updated: 2015-10-01
Packaged: 2018-04-24 07:07:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4909966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluetoast/pseuds/bluetoast
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki's first full day with Ísleikur ends much as it began; over dishes. Written for H/C Bingo: Bruises</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Jotun's Smile

Loki hung the last pan into its place just as Ísleikur came quietly to the bottom of the stairs, and he saw the man move the rocking chair closer to the fire before coming over to the sink and taking up a towel and a plate from the rack. “Thank you again for watching the girls today. It was a great help.” He pulled the plug from the drain and hung the chain over the faucet, then took off his washing gloves, hanging them over the rim of the sink.

The man smiled as he dried the plate. “It was my pleasure.” He set the dish down and took up another. “Ursa asked me to tell you that she's down for the night. I think Röskva woke a few times last night and she elected not to tell us.”

“She works too hard.” Loki responded, taking up a towel and started drying the silverware. “It also doesn't help that my baby girl is teething.” 

“We all work too hard.” He answered, starting on another plate. “Mirjam stated that her father forgot her riding lesson again.” 

“I suspected he would.” He sighed. “It does not matter to me that Thor has lost interest in visiting me, but I hate the fact that he forgets the girls.” He sounded much angrier than he intended, not to mention he shouldn't be bothering this man with his problems. “I keep meaning to work out a time for the girls to go visit the rest of their family, but I've been so busy lately...” 

“Thor doesn't deserve you any more than he deserves those precious daughters of yours.” He blurted out and Loki looked up at him, stunned. Ísleikur seemed to realize what he said, but instead of looking abashed, his face grew serious; it reminded him of Sif. “It's true. You and your girls deserve better treatment. I'm sorry to be so bold, but how you cannot show anger towards the man is beyond me.”

“I learned to repress my feelings a long time ago, Ísleikur” He looked down at the spoon he was holding. “I was a slave and a whore. My feelings did not matter then, and I cannot express them now.” He stiffened as he felt the man's hand on his back. “I lack the strength to stand up for my children and I hate myself for it.” He bit at his lip, feeling the tears at the corners of his eyes. Damn it, this was not how he wanted to end this day; blubbering like some wounded little girl in his own kitchen.

“No, you are stronger than you realize.” The man pulled him into a hug, stroking his hair like he was a child in need of comfort, which was exactly how Loki felt as he put his arms around the man's waist. “I have only known you a handful of months, but your perseverance and courage astound me. There cannot be a better mother on this block, or even in this area of Asgard, if not in the entire realm.”

“I am not worthy of such praise.” He swallowed. “I am a coward when it comes to the girls' father. I do not know what happened with Thor. When... before Mirjam was born, things were, things were wonderful. They were even good the first few years after, but somehow... it was like one morning I woke up and it was the end of a dream.” He shuddered and pressed his face against Ísleikur's shoulder. “I should have known better than to keep sharing a bed with him.” 

“I know for a fact that you haven't shared a bed with him since Röskva was born. That was nearly eight months ago.” He stiffened. “Apologies, it was crude and wrong of me to say that.” 

“No, no you're correct.” He pulled away from the man, reluctantly, and pressed his hands against the counter. “I have long been accustomed to being treated like nothing. But my girls are not nothing. I can be cast aside and forgotten, but not the girls. Never the girls.” 

“You are far more than nothing.” His hand came up and tucked a lock of hair behind his ear. “It makes me sick to see the way Thor treats you and you daughters. I would give anything to have what he has.” Ísleikur took his chin in his hand and turned his face to meet his. “Today has been one of the most wonderful days I have had in years.” He leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. “Thanks to you and your girls, I've found a way to start living again. While I do not feel fully released from my grief, the darkness has begun to leave.”

Loki swallowed. “Ísleikur.. I...” He pulled away. This was too much. The man couldn't mean half of what he was saying. Things like this didn't happen, certainly not to people who had lived the life he had.“I haven't done anything.” 

“Yes, you have.” He smiled. “You've let me into your life, into your daughters' lives. While I still know I am very much the outsider, I no longer feel as alone as I once did.” He took a breath, then shook his head. “I've upset you.”

“No. No, I'm not upset.” He set a hand on the man's arm. “Overwhelmed. I... I am unused to such kind words. Unless it is about my cooking.” He managed a weak chuckle.

Ísleikur took his hand and squeezed it. “Well, tomorrow night is the Yule Festival. I wonder if you and the girls would like to join me for the fireworks, provided it does not snow.” 

“I believe we would be delighted.” He replied, a small fluttering feeling starting in his belly. “There will be fireworks even if it does snow. And as you can expect, the cold hardly bothers me or Mirjam.”

“Right.” He gave him a rather awkward smile and the two of them left the kitchen, heading for the front door. “I want to thank you again, for today.” 

“No, thank you. Being able to work and not worry about the girls was a great relief. I don't suppose you would care to take up a job as their nanny?” He said it in jest, but his mirth died at the look on Ísleikur's face. 

“Were I able, I would do it in a heartbeat.” The man replied, lifting his chin. “I am serious, Loki.”

He looked away, unable to meet the man's gaze.. “I... I'm sorry.” He felt Ísleikur's thumb brush a tear from his cheek and he slowly looked back to look into the man's eyes as another tear slipped free of his.

“Don't be sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for.” He took a breath. “I best get home before my uncle thinks I've run off and joined the circus.”

“The way things are in this shop some days, it may as well be the circus.” He quipped, grinning.

“Oh, so you can smile.” He leaned forward and kissed his cheek, it was just a quick brush of his lips; but it was enough to make Loki's heart jump. “Until tomorrow evening then?”

“Until then.” He swallowed, keeping his face calm. “Good night, Ísleikur”

“Good night to you, Loki.” He replied and opened the door and stepped outside and as it closed behind him, Loki had to fight the urge to go after him. Instead, he shoved the locks into place and was certain he half-walked, half floated back towards the kitchen. After checking to insure that the fire in the oven was well banked, he put out the lights and mounted the stairs, the light feeling still with him as he dressed for bed. 

“Mama?” Mirjam's voice came from the doorway and he turned, rather surprised he hadn't heard her call him sooner.

“What is it, baby-girl?” He sat down on the bed and the girl climbed up next to him. “Not feeling sick, are you?”

She shook her head and wrapped her arms around his waist. “No, mama. I.... I just don't want to be alone. I don't know what's wrong.” 

He smoothed down her hair, giving her a smile. “It's been that sort of day.” He tucked her into the bed and, after checking on Röskva, put out the lamp and got into the bed as well, and a moment later, his daughter snuggled up against him. “But I'm not nearly as tired as I was last night.”

“I liked that Mister Ísleikur stayed here today. I wish it could happen more often.” She yawned. “But I know, he has his own work to do.”

He let out a worn sigh. “That's the problem with being a grown-up, Miri. Having to work instead of doing the things you really want to do.”

“What sort of work does Auntie Sif do?” She rubbed her nose. “I know she doesn't have to cook, or any of the stuff you do, and she's a mommy too.”

“Sif does charity work, I believe.” It was the only thing Loki could think of that he knew the woman did that he could describe; truth was, he knew precious little of what she did with her days. “That means she works with people who work with others to make things better for those who need help.”

“Like the orphanage two blocks away? Those are the people she helps?” Mirjam yawned. 

“Yes. She works to help the people of Asgard.” Loki covered a yawn of his own. “Tell me how your riding lesson was today.”

“It was fun. They still won't let Vakur and I ride horses, but it's still fun to ride the ponies. But I don't like it when people say I ride as good as Papa did when he was my age. I don't like being compared to him, because I'm not him, I'm me.”

“It's a compliment, Miri.” Loki hugged her. “They don't mean you're one in the same.” 

“It still makes me feel funny. A lot of things about Papa make me feel funny.” She whimpered and he tightened his hold on her, the light feeling he'd had when he came upstairs completely gone. “It's like a bubbly, not good feeling – like when I eat too much ice cream.”

“I know that things between your father and I aren't exactly... well, things are not as they should be. You shouldn't have to feel that way.” He sighed. “I'm going to talk with Auntie Sif next week, when you have your riding lesson. We're going to see if we can work out a time for you and Röskva to visit your papa and Auntie Sif on a weekly basis. Would you like that?”

“I might.” She sighed and yawned again. “Are we going to have a party too? Auntie Sif mentioned a party.”

“Indeed we are. The same day we're going to have a late Yule party, with you, me, Röskva and Ursa. We'll stay the night at the palace and come home the next morning. You'll get to spend a whole night with Vakur.”

“Really?” She looked up at him, her blue eyes bright in the darkness. “A whole night?”

“A whole night.” He kissed her nose. “Now, time to sleep. Tomorrow's another busy day.” 

“Good night, mama.” Mirjam gave him a sleepy smile. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Miri.” He closed his eyes and a few moments later, heard his daughter's breath even out and then felt the light, fluttery feeling return as his thoughts shifted to Ísleikur If this was the actual way one fell in love with someone, if this was how it was _supposed_ to feel, as opposed to the all-consuming fire that had been his time with Thor had been, then he already loved it more for it's gentleness – and as he drifted off into slumber, he hoped it continued.

*

Outside, in the street, two guards stood, watching the retreating back of Ísleikur Petarson. The younger glanced up at his superior, his expression uncertain. “Do we need to report something like that?”

The elder shook his head. “No.”

“But isn't...” The man frowned. “I don't understand. We were told to keep the palace informed of the comings and goings and...” He fell silent at the look on the other man's face.

“Her grace was here this afternoon, she most certainly knows what is going on.” He straightened his stance and they started their patrol again. “If she approves of his presence there, whom are we to object?”

The young man repressed a sigh. “I just worry, sir.”

“There's nothing to worry about in regards to the jotun and his family.” They came to the guard-stand. “He's hardly the first forgotten mistress in Asgard, and he certainly won't be the last.”


End file.
